Saturday, December 13, 2008

Guffin War: Program Pt. 3

The story of how Molly got involved in what would later be known as the Guffin War involves a tangent, but a tangent based upon the heroism of a forgotten few. The number of Molly's comrades from the wars still living during the opening gambits of the McGuffin war were few in number. Of the TET offensive, all her old friends were MIA or dead. From the Laos campaign, Specialist Pink Panther was working in an illegal hardware store in Bangkok and WO-3 Untalkative Bunny was in a military asylum in Illinois. The annexation of the Mushroom Kingdom, which had wiped out virtually the entire superhero community along with most of the 2nd Irregulars Regiment (The Fallen Angels), had unusually left the most comrades alive, but by far the most damaged. Master Sergent Luigi, of course, was driven half-mad by the death of his brother and after his years in the mob had ended up in service to Queen Beryl. Petty Officer 2nd Class Pearl Slaghoople was in Sing-Sing after murdering her son-in-law. Colonel Teddy Ruxpin was destitute and all but homeless in Rio de Janeiro, dishonorably discharged in '93. Only Corporal Tweety Bird remained sane and free in North America, a Wal-Mart greeter in Cleveland.

Tweety had a ritual. Every night at midnight or so he would make himself a strong drink and wait by the phone. One a week, without fail, Luigi would get horribly drunk, forget the time zone difference between the States and Russia and call Tweety, where he proceed to cry about his griefs for at least an hour and a half. But this time was different. Instead of a call, poor Tweety was forced to have Luigi come in through his front door, drunk as a skunk and covered in blood. Luigi ranted for hours about his execution of Badnove, let slip information about the Cartel, and then stole off into the night. Tweety, worried about the oncoming storm, vowed to find the one person he knew could help... but where to find her?

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